I’ve never put much stock into New Year’s Resolutions. For one thing, they never last long (I think I flossed 6 days in a row one year!), and for another, I don’t find the turn of a calendar page very motivational for changing a habit.
Something is different about this new year, such that I’d like to give resolutions a try. I’ve been feeling not myself recently; something is amiss. I can’t put my finger on it except that I’m restless and just a bit off.
Writing has always brought me peace, so therein lies my first resolution: to blog at least once per month. That’s a low standard, I realize, but it’s not one I’ve achieved since I became a mother in 2012 — so it’s a fair, measurable goal.
To kick off this year of writing, then, I read up on the #oneword365 idea. I’ve hated the idea in the past (with no good reason), but something speaks to me now about looking for this word in my everyday and using it as writing inspiration each month. While not very glamorous or evocative, I keep circling back to this word:
The idea of #oneword365 is not about doing, it’s about being. It’s easy to twist the idea of balance into an action I must perform — keeping the plates spinning, so to speak. But balance is something I want to have, to embody, to be at my very core.
There are many facets of balance. I want to be more balanced physically, which I know naturally leads me to feel more balanced emotionally. This involves self-care and yes, going to the gym, but I have to be careful, because there’s that To-Do List already, and this is about being, not doing.
I’m also seeking to be balanced relationally. 2014 was a year wholly devoted to my children, having been pregnant or breastfeeding the entire year and in the last 9 months, keeping our family afloat as we navigated having two babies under two. I don’t experience any crisis-type feelings anymore, so I know we’re out of the woods, but there are better, more healthy rhythms to be found as a family of four. My marriage and my friendships are also important to me, and I’d like to find balance in each of those once more.
Being balanced mentally is a bit tricky, because the flip side is being mentally unbalanced, which isn’t what I mean. I can tell you I forget many things easily and frequently, and I don’t feel as sharp as I once was. “Mommy brain” might be real, but I’d like to feel more balanced there, too.
Finding spiritual balance may also prove difficult. My experience of God is very much tied up in my faith community, which is undergoing transition this year. This past Advent season was very meaningful to me, and when my car died on Christmas Eve, we missed our traditional church service. I woke up Christmas morning still feeling very much stuck in Advent! It was an imbalance I actually felt in my body! This year, I plan to use the church calendar to help center me — something I’ve never done before, but based on my Advent experience, something I anticipate will help me.
Hooray, I’ve met my January blogging goal! I’m 1/12 of the way there. Come back next month to see how I kick off my practice of looking for balance in my everyday life.
If you’ve done #oneword365 in the past or are trying it this year, please share your word/experience!