I’ve read a lot of articles on Huffington Post Parents that say the same thing: raising kids is hard, no one has all the answers, and everyone screws up sometimes. I’ve read them through tears, and I’ve liked and shared them on Facebook.
But nothing has been as powerful to me as when a fellow mom-in-the-trenches says to me, I’m with you in this. I’ve got your back. Hearing it from another woman whose story I know, whose life I have shared, carries more weight than reading some article on an illuminated screen in a dark room in the middle of the night. (What, mama, you thought you were the only one googling “baby sleep” at 3am? Nope. Not alone.) So I write this for the moms in my circle. Even if I can’t stand in front of you and say it, you know me, the voice behind the screen.
Remember that woman you were before you became a mother? She’s really proud of who you have become. You’ve added so many layers of complexity to your person. You’re juggling so many titles all the time, and it’s exhausting, we know. But you’re doing all right.
Before you became mama, you were probably someone’s employer or employee. Maybe you owned your own business and you rocked that situation, because it was you, leaning all the way in, taking chances, and blowing us away with your creativity. You were faithful, you showed up, you did good work – work that mattered.
And now you’re a mother. This little life depends on you for everything all the time, and maybe that’s all you ever wanted, or maybe you’re feeling suffocated by the needing and the crying and the nursing and the loving. Maybe this is more than you signed up for and some days that old life looks tempting. You might be really happy in your current situation but you wonder what all that before stuff was for or what good it’s done you.
Or maybe you’re like me, and are content with this phase because it suits the life you want to have with your family and your babies. But perhaps you wonder what could be, later, when the kids are older and life moves into a different phase.
This is all I know of motherhood: It is terrible and wonderful.
But you are not alone. You are loved. You are doing all right. I don’t have
all the any answers, really. But I am here. I will listen and cry with you.
That mess of complicated feelings? It’s okay. Feel ’em all. You’re “Mom And” now, and that’s complicated. Give yourself grace.
See, it’s not groundbreaking, but it’s me saying it. I hope it rings true coming from a friend. If not, go check out Huffington Post Parents. They’ve got good stuff on there.